Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
