Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize