is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
