I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
