Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
