i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
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