I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
