Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
