Ambien. No doubt about it.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
