dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
