You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
