we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize