i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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