she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
