My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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