its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
