weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
