what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
