No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
tell me about the eggs
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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