Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize