so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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