im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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