So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
