I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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