mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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