What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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