it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
