i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
