last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
