OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's not a walk of shame if you run
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
