remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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