I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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