Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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