Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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