hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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