You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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