Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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