Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
me + whiskey = a bad person
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
