And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
