I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We had to coat check the pizza.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize