I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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