I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
