Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
