Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.

Fav 5 5732 974
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(530): View more from California

I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.

Fav 13 5534 1479
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(519): View more from Ontario

I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.

Fav 11 1188 3983
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.

Fav 14 7561 1437
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(314): View more from Missouri

I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.

Fav 18 6179 2199
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.

(856): View more from New Jersey

dear god, who put you in a cab?

Fav 21 4882 1369
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great

Fav 6 2635 898
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch

Fav 1 553 448
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(+49): View more from Germany

So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly

Fav 0 43 7
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