My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
