yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
