i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
