i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The Olympian is in my bed
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
