We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
