Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
