Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
