The maid of honor just puked.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
