his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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