we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
