three words: i give head
three words: not that well
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
