D3 body, D1 cock
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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