btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
