Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
