The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
