This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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