So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
