That's intense
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
