he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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