So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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