i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
