Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
