Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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